


jerk of the century

by sarcastissa, SnorkleShit



Series: coffee mouths [11]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Agent Washington Needs A Hug, Alternate Universe - College/University, Carolina is kinda a dick, Felix is a dick, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, M/M, Past Domestic Violence, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Roleplay, Self-Hatred, Sexual Harassment, but for an understandable reason, like biggest jerk of the fucking centuary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-22 12:09:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3728401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcastissa/pseuds/sarcastissa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnorkleShit/pseuds/SnorkleShit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>party hard until everything goes horribly wrong</p><p>----------------------------</p><p>roleplay between destielswingsmyheartacrosstheline and myself on tumblr adapted onto here</p>
            </blockquote>





	jerk of the century

**Author's Note:**

> "I've seen sad  
> Dark times  
> And waited for rain  
> All I know is whenever I am far from home  
> There are nights when words seem out of place"  
> -Ron Pope "Daylight"

“I didn’t know Kai was so good at throwing parties. I mean, I expected the cops to be here by now, but this is pretty chill.” Wash said, turning his head towards Tucker. They were leaning up against the wall with their drinks, taking a break from socializing.

Tucker smiled and leaned his head against Wash’s shoulder. “Yeah, this is one of her more tame parties. I think her girlfriend of the week is reeling her in and not letting her set up the drinking games.”

“That’s a pity, I can shoot a ping pong ball from my nostril if you get me drunk and steer me towards a beer pong table. Maybe next time.” Wash took another sip of his rum and coke.

Tucker chuckled and turned to look up at Wash, “I feel like drunk party animal Wash is a fucking treat to see.”

Wash laughed. “I’m only fun at first and then I turn into a really brooding drunk and start talking about conspiracy theories and shit.” He glanced down the hall to their left.

“Didn’t you say you had to go? I think the bathroom is finally free.”

Tucker laughed and turned away, setting his own Pepsi down on a table before turn and shooting Wash some finger guns. “I’ll be right back, and whenever I do get back, you should Grif about those conspiracies because he’s grand whenever he’s drunk and I don’t have to take care of him.” He turned and made his way to the bathroom.

Felix grinned. What a perfect opening.

Wash grinned as he watched Tucker go and brought the drink back up to his lips, feeling particularly comfortable leaning against the wall, even surrounded by people he didn’t know. It wasn’t horribly crowded, he was buzzed, and one of his friends was never too far away. He rather liked college parties after all, he supposed.

Felix slid next to Wash and grinned a winning smile at him. “Hey, Wash. Having a good time here all alone?”

Wash froze in surprise, leaning slightly away from the new arrival.

“Leave me alone, before I find Kai and tell her you're here. I’ve seen that girl eat metal, she’ll kick your ass on the street before you can even start one of your stupid monologues. And don’t you fucking think about going near Tucker.” Wash threatened, resisting he urge to glance towards the bathroom.

God, he hated this sleeve bag.

Felix laughed and turned to trap Wash against the wall, his hands on either side of the blond. 

“Come on, pretty boy. I just wanna have some fun,” He purred, letting one hand stray to cradle Wash’s cheek.

Wash stiffened, staring at the Orange haired man, trying to comprehend the rapid change of events. His throat felt tight.

“W-what?” Was all I could manage to get out. If Wash’s brain was an old PC, he’d be hardcore blue screening right now.

Felix grinned, “What, am I making you speechless? God, I know. I’ve been in bed with Tucker, I know how much you’re craving something good. Considering what you’ve been into, I’m guessing something forced onto you.” He leaned into Wash and forced a bruising kiss on him, his hand that was cradling Wash’s cheek moving down his body.

The drink fell from Wash’s hand to spill onto the floor, but nobody noticed.

He felt frozen, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t think of anything other than the mouth forced on his and the hand roaming over his skin, moving steadily downward towards his crotch. He suddenly wanted to die. He just wanted to stop existing, stop being, stop feeling. Why wasn’t anyone stopping him? Why was this asshole able to just do whatever he likes to him? Why couldn’t he move? Why couldn’t he move? His skin was crawling and his mind was screaming in confusion and distress and he couldn’t lift a fucking finger. He felt Felix force his tongue into his mouth, force himself into Wash. No, no, no, this couldn’t be happening.

Why couldn’t he move?

Felix’s hand grabbed Wash’s crotch as the other moved to hover over Wash’s neck. “That’s right, be a good little boy and play along,” He growled as his hand curled around Wash’s neck.

Tucker came out of the bathroom, hands dripping wet and yelling something about paper towels that got caught in his throat whenever he turned to look at his boyfriend and saw…

No.

Not again.

He wanted to bite out Felix’s tongue and spit it back at him. The hand rubbing at his crotch sent extremely unwanted electricity up his spin, and his back arched a little involuntarily, pressing himself forward. No, no, no, no, stop, shit, fuck, no, he didn’t want to play along, he didn’t want this, he just wanted him to stop touching him but his body wouldn’t listen to anything he said and his mind was drawing only panicked blanks. 

Then the hand curled around his throat, pressing in his airway and holding him down against the wall as Felix started to kiss him again. Instinct overruled panic and shock, and his hand flew to his throat, clawing, trying to get him off. His other hand came to shove at Felix’s shoulder, trying to shove him back, shove him away. His only seemed to piss Felix off, the fact he wasn’t playing along, and he shoved Wash harder against the wall, the hand squeezing his crotch getting tighter, and the hand around his throat completely cutting off his air supply for a moment as Felix pressed himself against Wash.

Wash finally snapped out of his shock and felt a surge of anger. He ripped the hand away from his throat and kicked Felix in the shin. Felix jerked back in pain, and Wash socked him in the jaw, sending him crashing back on his ass. The people around them backed up in shock.

Felix cursed and hissed in pain before running off to do whatever jackasses do in their free time.

Tucker watched the scene with stuttered breath. God, he was stupid. Wash was being…by Felix…and Tucker didn’t even do anything because he’s so fucking fucked up that his immediate reaction is poor me. What the fuck was wrong with him? They were just getting back to that good place but, goddammit, what a fucking fuck up.

“Wash!” He whispered, forgetting about his drink and walking towards his boyfriend.

Wash leaned against the wall of the outside of the house with one hand, dry heaving.

“God, Wash,” Tucker walked over to him, but hesitated against his instincts to hold him. “I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do? Get you some water?”

Wash dug his fingers into the paint of the house, trying to keep himself upright long enough to keep the panic attack at bay. 

“I need to go, I need to go home…” He managed to grit out. Pull it together, Wash. It’s not like you haven’t been through worse.

At that, a flood of memories he’d been trying to avoid flooded him and tears welled up in his eyes. He shut his eyelids against them angrily. He couldn’t be weak, he had to keep going, he had to get home and lock himself in the shower and scrub every layer of skin ever saturated by unwanted touches away.

“Okay,” Tucker breathed out as he moved to make Wash look him. “Just try to breathe, babe, okay? I know this is a really shitty situation but I need you to try to breathe. I’ll take you home.” Tucker demonstrated breathing deeply as he tried to calm Wash.

Wash shook his head.

“No. I need to go home alone. I need to go. Be alone. Alone. Gotta go.” He stammered out, forcing himself to stand up straight again. He stared down at the ground, he couldn’t even look at Tucker. He forced his legs to start walking towards the front yard. He’d call a cab or something. He wished he could just walk, but he wouldn’t make it that far. 

He stopped.

He didn’t have any other options than to go public transport style and get driven home surrounded by strangers, or get driven home by Tucker. God, he wanted to just curl in a ball and die and disintegrate into a pile of dust that didn’t have to deal with panic and pain and decisions.

“Nevermind. Can you- can you take me home? Please.” He had a hard time articulating sentences, and his own halting words ground against his ears. What a disgrace.

Tucker sighed and nodded. He hated seeing Wash like this. He wouldn’t accept help, he wouldn’t talk, he’d just make himself feel worse and worse and it was painful to see someone that he loved so much in that much pain. “You don’t have to ask. Music or no music?” He asked as he fished his keys from his pocket, hoping to distract Wash with stupid little questions.

“Music. Loud. Really loud.” Wash agreed, resisting the urge to dig his fingernails into his palms. He didn’t need to ground himself with pain. He had Tucker. He’d hold onto his boyfriends presence as best he could and hold himself together till he got home. He already felt a little calmer at the idea of an uneventful ride home where he could flop in bed and sleep the trauma off for the next few days.

“Pop, country, alternative, classical, oldies?” Tucker quizzed as he began to lead Wash over to the side of the road where he left the car.

“Whatever you want.” He replied, the panic numbing into a strange limbo feeling. He just had to get home.

“Alright,” Tucker nodded as they got to the car and opened the door for Wash. He jogged around the car and slid into the driver’s seat. “Alternative it is. I–I’m guessing you don’t wanna…talk?” Tucker asked Wash as he got in, guilt gnawing at the underside of his skin like a parasite.

Wash wrapped his arms around himself, and looked out the window. Something Felix said kept ringing in his eyes, and he furrowed his brow.

Play along? 

He glanced towards Tucker.

“Later.”

“Alright, no pressure,” Tucker answered as he pulled into the street. The drive to Wash’s flat was short, but Tucker was dreading it. He guessed that North, York, and Carolina would be taking him to hell and back, just like he was doing to himself. How could he just leave Wash alone like that? God, he was stupid.

And now look at him, he was selfish enough to make of this about him. What the fuck was wrong with him? Was he really that fucked up?

Wash watched the city roll by the window without actually seeing any of it, till they finally got home. His lip felt swollen and his throat ached a little, where Felix had shoved him back. They’d both probably bruise, but not badly, and not for long. He was a bit of an expert, at this point. 

He climbed out of the car in some strange semblance of a trance, focused only on climbing the stairs and reaching his door, but he felt himself sway a little. Maybe that wouldn’t be as easy as he wished it was. He reached out to supported himself with a hand on the car, bowing his head to take a deep breath. 

“Thanks.” He gritted out.

“Do you want me to walk you in?” Tucker asked. Please, dear god dear Lord make me feel like I can help you.

Wash hesitated, before he nodded. No words came, but he couldn’t care right now.

Tucker nodded and gracefully fell out of the car. He gathered himself and gave Wash a supportive look, dying to grab his hand but wanting to push his luck.

Wash let go of the car and reached out towards Tucker. He felt dirty and his skin was crawling, but He needed to lean on something right now.

“Can you give a shoulder?” He asked, voice breaking a little at how forced it was.

Tucker nodded and moved next to Wash, taking his weight easily. Whenever he spoke, his voice was laced with emotion. “You don’t have to ask, love.”

They made it up the stairs and Wash let go to grab the door handle.

“Thanks. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I’m-” He stopped himself from saying sorry. He paused, and turned his head slightly towards Tucker.

“I hope you didn’t get too freaked out. I don’t normally hit people.” He’d seen Tucker’s face when he punched Felix, before he ran out the door. He hated violence, and he felt shame crawl up his throat that Tucker had to see him like that. Saw him weak and at Felix’s perverted mercy at one second, and then saw him violently lashing out the other. He didn’t want Tucker to think any differently of him.

Tucker placed one hand on Wash’s should and moved it down his upper arm gently, without thinking. “I know, babe. Don’t worry about me. I’m sorry I couldn’t–” He shook his head, shame choking off the sentence. He leaned up and pressed a soft, almost there kiss to Wash’s forehead. “I love you.”

Wash surprisingly felt no urge to move away from the touch. That was something, he supposed. 

“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known, at first. Must have been quite a shocking sight.” He said, the last sentence slightly bitterly. The next time he saw Felix, he’d do way more than punch him.

Tucker gave Wash a supportive grin. “You’re so strong, I…get some rest, babe.”

Wash nodded, turning away and opening the door. The minute it was shut behind him he slide down it and groaned in exhaustion.

Tucker sighed and leaned against the outside of Wash’s flat, feeling feelings begin to take over him. God, he really was useless.

Wash could feel Carolina and York’s eyes on him.

“Top of the morning to you.” He said lowly.

Tucker shook his head and walked back to his car, words like useless and fucked up swimming around his brain in circles. Later, he was laying on his bed whenever his phone rang. Without looking at the caller ID–assuming it was Kai checking in on Wash again–he answered.

“Lavernius Tucker’s office of fucking up, how may I ruin your life?”

“You have no fucking idea how angry I am right now.” Carolina hissed over the line.

Tucker out a guilty sigh. “I know, ‘Lina.”

“I don’t think you do. How the fuck could you let this happen? Felix only did that to him to get to you! Wash deserves better than that! He’s been through so much, I’m fucking terrified something as awful as this is gonna make him relapse into the way he used to be. It already looks like it did and it’s terrifying. All tired and closed off and distant, and he spirals into his own head and he cuts himself off from everyone. He did it back then, too, you know. Got all distant and wouldn’t tell us anything, he stopped talking to us, and the next thing I know I walk in and I find him half dead on the fucking floor. I had to carry his limp bleeding body to the couch, I thought one of my best friends was dead in my arms, all because I thought he’d tell has of anything was wrong. He doesn’t tell people when things are wrong, Tucker! That’s why he has to be around people who pay attention and won’t let him be alone, especially in dangerous situations. You shouldn’t have left him alone! You shouldn’t have let this happen! If history repeats itself and Wash just goes off the deep end again, I’m not gonna need a fucking steak knife to take you down, do you understand me? I thought I could trust you. God, I care about you, but I never forgave myself for letting things get so bad back then, and I will never forgive you if things go south now. You do whatever you have to do to make sure he’s okay, do you understand me? Am I fucking crystal clear?”

Tucker’s jaw was clenched and the knuckles on the hand holding his phone were white. His vision was blurry, the guilt parasite was consuming everything at once. It was his fault, it was all his fucking fault. He couldn’t speak, what even were words? He hung up his phone and slammed it back on his nightstand. He’d charge it later.

He turned onto his side and curled up, tears falling across his nose and onto his bedspread without his permission. Carolina had only voiced what he’d been telling himself since he fucking saw Wash hit Felix. Distantly, a little voice inside of his head told him that he probably shouldn’t have hung up on Carolina if he valued his life, but really at least if she beat the shit out of him he’d feel something other than…this.

“Tucker!” Church called out as he got home. Tucker couldn’t say anything, he couldn’t go through this with another member of the Church family. He heard his door open with a long and irritating squeak. “I heard what happened…” His best friend started.

“I’m sorry,” Tucker whispered brokenly, desperation laced through the words.

“I know you are, buddy,” Church nodded and sat at the foot of Tucker’s bed. “I know. I know whenever you saw it your first instinct was to think that another one was cheating on you. I know you’re blaming yourself, I’m pretty sure Carolina just called you and blamed you, I…I figured that you’d need a brother right about now.” He told Tucker as he stared at the man. “I also know that I really shouldn’t trust you to be alone right now or you’ll disappear again, so I’m gonna use your desk to study tonight and if or when you feel like talking, I’ll be right there.”

Tucker closed his eyes, thankful as he felt the weight removed itself from his bed, as he heard Church’s footsteps across the wooden floors, the way Church threw his backpack on the ground, the scrape of his desk chair being dragged out from underneath his desk and the subdued pencil and book movements of Church studying.

He really didn’t deserve it, but, like the selfish bastard he was, he took everything that he could get.

**Author's Note:**

> playlists:  
> plot: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/twenty-questions  
> wash: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/cracks-in-the-mirror  
> tucker: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/the-strongest-hearts-are-the-heaviest  
> felix: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/please-don-t-stay-in-touch  
> maine:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/f-u-r-y  
> sad:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/i-found-you-lost-with-a-compass-in-the-fog  
> locus:  
> http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/enjoy-the-abuse
> 
> wash: destielswingsmyheartacrosstheline  
> tucker: sarcastissa


End file.
